Well that's just Super...

There a few things that get me as excited as a new superhero movie. The vibrant nostalgia tied with vicariously living my superpower fantasies are enough to regress me to my 12 year old self; to the days of saturday morning cartoons, action figures and Luke Skywalker playing The Joker.
Yet in the past decade, super hero movies have moved beyond the mindless violence and managed to actually create some ground breaking films. Tapping into the childlike glee of action and fantasy while also managing to adapt the scripts to accommodate their audiences growing mature sensibilities.

Pictured: Mature Sensibilities

But I can't help but feel an unease at the future of these little comic powered blockbusters. I'm not going to lie, the films aren't getting worse by any stretch of the imagination. The whole 'Marvel Universe' movies that have filled the past few summers (Iron Man, Thor, Captain America.... *cough* Hulk.) have been fantastic and in the cases of both Thor and Captain America I was astonished by how much I actually enjoyed them. They have managed to nail the atmosphere and tone require to suspend the audiences disbelief and it all looks like it is leading to something very special. The never before attempted mass cross over film, a risky maneuver that may well usher in a new generation of great super hero classics; or break the base entirely.

I'm talking Bat-Nipples level catastrophe.

I'm actually more terrified of it being good than I am of it being bad. Don't get me wrong. I would love to see Robert Downey Jr.'s Tony Stark playing off Thor and the all american boy-scott. Plus Mark Ruffalo is replacing Edward Norton and I fucking love Mark Ruffalo for reasons that I can't really explain. What I'm afraid of is that this movie will be fantastic, it will be successful and Marvel will feel damn proud of themselves (as they should be) for pulling of such an experimental feat.

But then DC will want their share.

What I'm afraid of is the inevitable Justice League films that I predict will destroy the super hero genre for a very long time. A slew of rushed, poorly scripted, defective, heartless, CGI-riddled pieces of shit that could hardly be called 'movies'. If you think this is just hyperbole, then go and see The Green Lantern.

This image is a metaphor. 

And hey, I read comics, I watch super hero cartoons, and while I'm not spending each night in forums debating if the Hulk could beat Superman or how The Invisible Woman can see if light doesn't hit her eyes, my knowledge is extensive. So although this film would be considered unbearable to a regular viewer, I found this film to be a spit in the face to an entire community.

The Green Lantern was like the drum roll, leading our anticipation to the greatest team up of all time. You know that its coming, because otherwise they would never release a Green Lantern movie. Sure he's a popular comic character but he's hardly famous to the collective mainstream consciousness. But to me, this was a taste of the moment where Superman and Batman were finally going to be sharing a silver screen. Watching this movie was like being a child on christmas waiting to open the present you know is the action-figure you've been asking for all year, only for it to turn out to be one of those weird Mix-Mashed super hero packs you get at the Victoria Market.

No Mum, it's not the same.

I'm not going to go in depth to my hatred of this film. Mostly because thinking about the movie causes me actual, legitimate physical pain.

Instead I'll end with something aimed directly at the film industry.:

Dear Comic Book Movies,

Listen to your fans, they are the ones buying tickets, they are the ones who are reading the comics and they are the ones who will go online 2 seconds after the movie is over to bitch about ever single detail that was wrong. Honestly, there isn't enough space on the internet for all that could be said about your quote-un-quote Green Lantern movie.
I say this with love and respect for what you people do. But stop trying to take everything so seriously, Have fun with these movies, explore the characters for who they are, not what is successful. Not everyone who is charming has to be like Tony Stark, no everyone who has a dark past has to be like Batman.

So here's what you do:
-Cast Nathan Fillion in something, please.

That way, no matter how bad it is. At least you gave the nerds something.

Or, better yet. Bring back Firefly.

SIDE BAR: While we are on the topic of Nathan Fillion. Go check out Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog. Its a short film/musical about a super villain (Neil Patrick Harris) and the hero he's trying to defeat (Nathan Fillion, being hilariously camp). Also, its written and director by Joss Whedon (Buffy, Firefly, Toy Story, and ironically also wrote/directed the upcoming Avengers movie)

Full Circle.